- Directed by: Sean Marlowe
- Written by: George Morgan
- Cast: Erika Eleniak ("Baywatch"), John Wesley Shipp
- Year: 2002
A couple of "chasers" (the navy equivalent of mps) retrieve anerrant enlisted woman and get in way over their heads during theeventful trip back to the base.French hottie Julie Du Page has the title role in
Lady Jayne: Killer, as an assassin who wears brightly colored thong underwear--which she strips down to when she does her hits. After she takes a suitcase carrying a million dollars from a mob boss, she hits the road with a single mom (Erika Eleniak from
Baywatch) and her son who are themselves on the run. The ridiculous plot isn't worth recounting because no one watches a babe-with-guns movie for the story (and certainly not for the truly atrocious dialogue). Unfortunately,
Lady Jayne: Killer falls woefully short on skin an! d action--the modestly titillating scenes are few and you can find better shootouts on television. Also featuring Adam Baldwin and James Remar, two decent actors who presumably needed the money.
--Bret FetzerA couple of "chasers" (the navy equivalent of mps) retrieve anerrant enlisted woman and get in way over their heads during theeventful trip back to the base.After years of domestic abuse, Patty (Erika Eleniak), finds an outlet for her anger in the ring of a community boxing club. She's spotted by the club fight promoter Fred (John Doman) and one of his round-club gals, June (Aunjanue Ellis). With the help of a trainer, former hopeful Tommy (James Colby), she begins to learn how to box and gain self-esteem. Tommy sees Patty's rage and tries to help her channel it in the ring. Patty learns a valuable lesson-the difference between fighting and boxing. When you fight, you lose. When you box, you win! As Patty's talents grow stronger so does her relationship with! Tommy. In the end, Patty earns the self-confidence to stand u! p for wh at she believes in, the power to take control of her life and make it her own. Private eye Rafe Guttman (Dennis Miller) is hired by repressed, born-again Katherine (Erika Eleniak) to find her missing bad-boy brother. The trail leads him to a whorehouse run by a thousand-year-old vampire (Angie Everhart) and secretly backed by Katherine's boss, televangelist Jimmy Current (Chris Sarandon, wonderfully insincere and smarmy). Not for the squeamish or the easily offended (but you knew that from the title),
Bordello of Blood is pulp horror as it should be--funny, fast, and full of gore. How many movies do you know where naked vampire hookers devour the still-beating hearts of their adolescent clients, or where the hero saves the day with a Super Soaker? Dennis Miller is at his wisecracking best as the oddest private eye since Elliot Gould played Philip Marlowe in
The Long Goodbye. Angie Everhart devours her role with relish (yum!). And former Playboy Playmate E! rika Eleniak seems to be enjoying the joke that in a movie filled with half-naked women, she's the only one who keeps her clothes on.
--Geof MillerSara Morgan thought her husband's murder would solve all her problems. But as she discovered, one murder is never enough! Format: Color, DVD, NTSC Language: English Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only. Read more about DVD formats.) Aspect Ratio: 1.33:1 Number of discs: 1 Rated: R (Restricted) Studio: New Concorde DVD Release Date: April 23, 2002 Run Time: 89 minutes
0 comments: